This is such an important topic that I don't think we talk about enough. I think we dismiss it as a bad thing to have happen to any individual, when it's a blessing.
Autism Awareness has increased over the last twenty years. Growing up in the 90's, it was barely spoke about and when it was, there wasn't a lot of information to go off of. Today, we celebrate and bring awareness to something that still has room to involve even more for adults and children in our society.
When I thought about interviewing someone for this month, the first person I thought about was Gina Dawson. I have known Gina over the years and found her love for her son to be inspiring and uplifting. Gina is a hard worker and provider when it comes to her family. She is extremely generous to everyone around her and extremely knowledgeable. We sat down to talk about what it is like to raise a son with Autism, her advice to parents who have Autistic children, and what it means to have a month to bring awareness to Autism. Read the interview down below:
Tell us about your son. At what age did you discover he may have autism? Or was it something you detected when he was born?
Not when he was born. I suspected something was off the first few years. He was diagnosed with leukemia at twenty-two months. So, as the result, we focused a lot on him getting better and doing the chemo treatments. Once he was better, it was around the time he was going to start school. In kindergarten, he had a lot of tantrums and meltdowns. He had that happening during chemo treatments, so we thought it was from that. But when he was in school, we decided to find out what was going on with him. He was a little behind in school and because of all that, we decided to get him tested. At the age of five, we were told he had developmental delays. He wasn’t diagnosed with Autism until the age of seven. We saw a lot of the typical signs and I realized my son was on the spectrum. As I look back, I bet there were probably more signs, but he was going through chemo around the time you start to see signs. He would have meltdowns and we just thought it was because of the treatment. So, the idea of anything else was dismissed.
So, when he was diagnosed and there was a clear answer to why he was behind and throwing tantrums, did it get easier as he grew up or is it still harder today as it was when you found out?
It got easier because we finally understood why, and that was a good thing. However, the challenges and every stage have always been difficult because then we question, “What do we do next?” So, my answer would be yes and no. It got easier because we had an answer but didn’t know what to do with the answer.
Do you feel that society has grown when dealing autism? Or do you feel there is still room to grow?
Yes, I feel the awareness is there. It’s great. I wish there was more of it when my son was younger. My son is now twenty-six—just turned it—and the awareness is there but I feel like people need to be more informed about the details when it comes to being a person with Autism.
Do you feel like not only resources for the families, but schools should bring this to parents’ attention?
I think so, as well as there should be more of an understanding of what a person with Autism goes through on a daily basis. It can be very overwhelming.
What’s the most misconception about autism?
I would say that adults with Autism don’t have the same feelings that we do. They obviously love, they feel, they hurt. They go through the same stages as we do. My son is a young adult and I feel he craves falling in love, wanting to make friends, and even wanting to get married. He’s not a man of a lot of words, but I know he has his insecurities. He’s shy. However, I never thought he would be so heartbroken at the fact he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He kind of makes up his own stories in his head of being in love, and different scenarios in his life. He doesn’t directly tell this but I’m able to pick up on them. Sometimes, he cries, and I don’t understand why he is crying. He is in his own story. I feel that, sometimes, people don’t pay attention to those little things where they’re in their own world and in their own head. We get caught up in our own things and don’t pay attention to the feelings that they have. We don’t realize they go through the same feelings and emotions we all have. They go through different stages, like we all do. They love.
What has been the hardest thing about raising your son?
Initially, it was not being able to connect with him. Not knowing what he was thinking, feeling, or doing. You want to go in their world—it was frustrating. But in time, you learn to accept it. You learn that the best way to connect with them is to go into their world. The thing that has been difficult is finding resources, experts—going to a regular doctor, they can be kind, but they don’t always understand. Finding the right things for them, agencies that will help with anything. For example, finding a dentist that would be able to understand that maybe a specific tool will give him a meltdown. Or taking him in to get a haircut—this is what I mean that we need more understanding than just awareness. People need to understand that they have sensory issues and that’s very hard.
Yeah, that’s true. It’s one thing to be aware but it’s another thing to be knowledgeable, too.
Yeah, exactly.
What has been the best thing about raising him?
The best thing is what you learn. You learn patience, how to be an advocate, and that it is best feeling in the world when you see your child express their love for you. For a long time, you don’t always see it or feel it, and when you finally do—it’s an awesome feeling. The overall lessons you are taught by advocating for your child is that you see yourself grow as a person and you really do learn the true meaning of love. It’s a great feeling.
Is there advice you have for people who raise children with Autism?
Definitely surround yourself with people that are supportive, family and friends. It’s going to be so important. Reach out to support groups. Every community has one. It can be challenging to find them, but they are out there—especially now. Give yourself a pat on the back, a break, and time to yourself. It is easy to lose yourself in being a mom to a child with Autism—you have to give yourself a break otherwise you can’t them anything if you don’t have the energy. You have to give yourself a break. It’s very important. Also, it’s important to embrace your child as they are. Just take in the moment and accept them.
It is Autism Awareness Month; do you and your family do anything to celebrate it? What are your thoughts about dedicating this month to bring awareness to Autism?
I think it’s great there’s an awareness for it. I feel there should be awareness throughout the whole year, but I definitely think it’s great that it is highlighted for this month. I think it’s wonderful that there is awareness. I’m very lucky that I have a sister with two sons on the spectrum I’m able to share this month with. During this month, we actually talk about how our sons have grown and how we have grown. We talk about how proud we are that they’re come so far. It’s a big deal in our family to cheer them on and to remember how special they are. That’s how we celebrate this month, we share our stories and cheer them on.
Now, let’s shift the conversation to you as an individual. Who is your everyday inspiration?
My son is actually my inspiration. I was a very different person before I had him and now, after everything, he has been my inspiration. I wake up every day wanting to make his life a little better and as the result, it makes my life feel a little bit more fulfilled. He’s been through so much and I feel very inspired by him. I also feel like my sisters are an inspiration, too. Both of them have been great. They’re great and strong women. I’m very inspired by my mom and dad, too. My dad has been through a lot. I’m always inspired by his stories. People throughout my life have been very inspiring. I have been very blessed with the people around me. But mostly my family. I’ve been very lucky.
When you’re not taking care of your family, what do you like to do?
I love live music. Anything related with music—I’m there! I like quiet time, but my ideal thing to do is anything involving live music. I’m a concertgoer. But if I can’t go to a concert, my next best thing I love to do is get in my car, take a drive, and listen to my music. It’s very relaxing. I also love to watch the Dodgers! I’m a big fan of baseball and I love them.
Okay, I have to ask, what are the three top live concerts that you’ve been to, that are your favorites?
Of course, I’m going to say my band Duran Duran. I have been to many concerts, so it’s hard to choose. (She laughs) I went to go see, with my sisters, Pet Shop Boys and New Order—I loved it. And finally, I would say Paul McCartney. Ah, I loved Paul McCartney!
That is a great list, by the way! (I laugh) Finally, if you could describe yourself using three adjectives, what would they be and why?
I would say I’m very dedicated once I put my mind to something. I’m very loyal. I’m very emotional. (She laughs) Those describe me a lot. I’m also very positive! I try to positive! I always try to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
I value having someone like Gina Dawson in my life. She is someone is caring, forgiving, and extremely selfless. She is the greatest advocate to have on anyone's side.
If you or someone you know have a story that you would like to share, please contact me. This is all experience for me. I would love to share any and all stories I can!
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